Youhavetoholdontothelawntokeepfromfallingofftheearth.
Jobinterferingwithyourdrinking.
Yourdoctorfindstracesofbloodinyouralcoholstream.
Careerwon'tprogressbeyondSenatorfromMassachusetts.
Thebackofyourheadkeepsgettinghitbythetoiletseat.
Sincerelybelievealcoholistheelusive5thfoodgroup.
24hoursinaday,24beersinacase-coincidence?-Ithinknot!
Twohandsandjustonemouth...-nowTHAT'Sadrinkingproblem!
Youcanfocusbetterwithoneeyeclosed.
Theparkinglotseemstohavemovedwhileyouwereinthebar.
Youfalloffthefloor...
YourtwinsonsarenamedBarleyandHops.
Hey,5beershasjustasmanycaloriesasaburger,screwdinner!
Mosquitoescatchabuzzafterattackingyou.
AtAAmeetingsyoubegin:Himynameis...uh...
Yourideaofcuttingbackislesssalt.
Youwakeupinthebedroom,yourunderwearisinthebathroom,you
fellasleepclothed.
Thewholebarsays'Hi'whenyoucomein...
YouthinktheFourBasicFoodGroupsareCaffeine,Nicotine,Alcohol,and[WomenorMen].
Everynightyou'rebeginningtofindyourroommate'scatmoreandmoreattractive.
Roseannelooksgood.
Don'trecognizewifeunlessseenthroughbottomofglass.
Thatdamnedpinkelephantfollowedmehomeagain.
SenatorsKennedyandPackwoodshaketheirheadswhentheywalkpastyou.
I'massoberasajudge.
Theshrubbery'sdrunkfromtoofrequentwatering.
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