A:Hislipsaremoving.
Q:What'sthedifferencebetweenadeaddogintheroadandadeadlawyerintheroad?
A:Thereareskidmarksinfrontofthedog.
Q:Whywon'tsharksattacklawyers?
A:Professionalcourtesy.
Q:Whatdoyouhavewhenalawyerisburieduptohisneckinsand?
A:Notenoughsand.
Q:Howdoyougetalawyeroutofatree?
A:Cuttherope.
Q:Doyouknowhowtosaveadrowninglawyer?
A1:Takeyourfootoffhishead.
A2:No.Good!
Q:What'sthedifferencebetweenalawyerandabucketofdung?
A:Thebucket.
Q:Whatisthedefinitionofashame(asinthat'sashame)?
A:Whenabusloadoflawyersgoesoffacliff.
Q:Whatisthedefinitionofacryingshame?
A:Therewasanemptyseat.
Q:WhatdoyougetwhenyoucrosstheGodfatherwithalawyer?
A:Anofferyoucan'tunderstand
Q.Whyisitthatmanylawyershavebrokennoses?
A.Fromchasingparkedambulances.
Q.Wherecanyoufindagoodlawyer?
A.Inthecemetery
Q.What'sthedifferencebetweenalawyerandavampire?
A.Avampireonlysucksbloodatnight.
Q.Howmanylawprofessorsdoesittaketochangealightbulb?
A.Heck,youneed250justtolobbyfortheresearchgrant.
Q:Ifyouseealawyeronabicycle,whydon'tyouswervetohithim?
A:Itmightbeyourbicycle.
Q:Wherecanyoufindagoodlawyer?
A:Inthecitymorgue.
Ahousewife,anaccountantandalawyerwereaskedHowmuchis2+2?Thehousewifereplies:Four!.Theaccountantsays:Ithinkit'seither3or4.Letmerunthosefiguresthroughmyspreadsheetonemoretime.Thelawyerpullsthedrapes,dimsthelightsandasksinahushedvoice,Howmuchdoyouwantittobe?
Agradeschoolteacherwasaskingstudentswhattheirparentsdidforaliving.Tim,youbefirst,shesaid.Whatdoesyourmotherdoallday?Timstoodupandproudlysaid,She'sadoctor.That'swonderful.Howaboutyou,Amie?Amieshylystoodup,scoffedherfeetandsaid,Myfatherisamailman.Thankyou,Amie,saidtheteacher.Whataboutyourfather,Billy?Billyproudlystoodupandannounced,Mydaddyplayspianoinawhorehouse.Theteacherwasaghastandpromptlychangedthesubjecttogeography.LaterthatdayshewenttoBilly'shouseandrangthebell.Billy'sfatheransweredthedoor.Theteacherexplainedwhathissonhadsaidanddemandedanexplanation.Billy'sfathersaid,I'mactuallyanattorney.HowcanIexplainathinglikethattoaseven-year-old?
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