AlawyernamedStrangewasshoppingforatombstone.Afterhemadehisselection,thestonecutteraskedhimwhatinscriptionhewouldlikeonit.Hereliesanhonestmanandalawyer,respondedthelawyer.Sorry,butIcan'tdothat,repliedthestonecutter.Inthisstate,it'sagainstthelawtoburytwopeopleinthesamegrave.However,Icouldput'hereliesanhonestlawyer.'Butthatwon'tletpeopleknowwhoitis,protestedthelawyer.Certainlywill,retortedthestonecutter.PeoplewillreaditandexclaimThat'sStrange!
Onvisitingaseriouslyilllawyerinthehospital,hisfriendfoundhimsittingupinthebed,franticallyleafingthroughthebibleWhatareyoudoing?askedthefriend.Lookingforloopholes,repliedthelawyer.
Twoprobatelawyerswereoverheardwhilediscussingacurrentcase:It'ssuchasplendidestate.Whatashametosquanderitonthebeneficiaries.
Q.Whyarelawyerslikenuclearweapons?
A.Ifonesidehasone,theothersidehastogetone.Oncelaunched,they
cannotberecalled.Whentheyland,theyscrewupeverythingforever.
Alawyerliesdying,hashispartnerof40yearsbyhisbedside.Jack,I'vegottoconfess.I'vebeensleepingwithyourwifefor30yearsandI'mthefatherofyourdaughter,Hillary.Ontopofthat,I'vebeenstealingfromthefirmforadecade.Relax,saysJack,anddon'tthinkanotherthingaboutit.I'mtheonewhoputarsenicinyourmartini.
Adoctorandalawyerintwocarscollidedonacountryroad.Thelawyer,seeingthatthedoctorwasalittleshakenup,helpedhimfromthecarandofferedhimadrinkfromhishipflask.Thedoctoracceptedandhandedtheflaskbacktothelawyer,whocloseditandputitaway.Aren'tyougoingtohaveadrinkyourself?askedthedoctor.Sure,afterthepoliceleave,repliedtheattorney.
Alawyerisstandinginalonglineattheboxoffice.Suddenlyhefeelsapairofhandskneadinghisshoulders,backandneck.Thelawyerturnsaroundandyellsatthepersonbehindhim,Whatthehelldoyouthinkyou'redoing?Themanbehindhimsays,I'machiropractor,andI'mjustkeepinginpracticewhileI'mwaitinginline.Tothatthelawyerreplies,Well,I'malawyer,andyoudon'tseemefuckingtheguyinfrontofme,doyou?
Twolawyerswerewalkingdownthestreetonceandthisfinewomanpassedthem.Onelawyersaid,I'dreallyliketoscrewher!Thentheotherlawyersaid,Outofwhat?
Twolawyerswerewalkingalongnegotiatingacase.Look,saidonetotheother,let'sbehonestwitheachother.Okay,youfirst,repliedtheother.Thatwastheendofthediscussion.
Forthreeyears,theyoungattorneyhadbeentakinghisbriefvacationsatthiscountryinn.Thelasttimehe'dfinallymanagedanaffairwiththeinnkeeper'sdaughter.Lookingforwardtoanexcitingfewdays,hedraggedhissuitcaseupthestairsoftheinn,thenstoppedshort.Theresathisloverwithaninfantonherlap!Helen,whydidn'tyouwritewhenyoulearnedyouwerepregnant?hecried.Iwouldhaverusheduphere,wecouldhavegottenmarried,andthebabywouldhavemyname!Well,shesaid,whenmyfolksfoundoutaboutmycondition,
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