幽默乃是尊严的肯定,又是对人类超然物外的胸襟之明证。
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RedneckEtiquette

-RedneckDrivingEtiquette-
Dimyourheadlightsforapproachingvehicles,evenifthegunisloadedandthedeerisinsight.
Whenapproachingafour-waystop,thevehiclewiththelargesttiresalwayshastherightofway.
Nevertowanothercarusingpantyhoseandducttape.
Whensendingyourwifedowntheroadwithagascan,itisimpolitetoaskhertobringbackbeer.
Neverrelieveyourselffromamovingvehicle,especiallywhendriving.
Donotremovetheseatsfromthecarsothatallyourkidscanfitin.
Donotlayrubberwhiletravelinginafuneralprocession.

-RedneckPersonalHygiene-
Unlikeclothesandshoes,atoothbrushshouldneverbeahand-me-downitem.
Ifyouhavetovacuumthebed,it'stimetochangethesheets.
Whileearsneedtobecleanedregularly,thisisajobthatshouldbedoneinprivateusingone'sOWNtruckkeys.
Pluckingunwantednosehairistime-consumingwork.
Acigarettelighterandasmalltoleranceforpaincanaccomplishthesamegoalandsavehours.
Note:Itsagoodideatokeepabucketofwaterhandywhenusingthismethod.

-RedneckDiningOut-
Remembertoleaveageneroustipforgoodservice.Afterall,theirmobilehomecostsjustasmuchasyours.

-RedneckEntertaininginYourHome-
Acenterpieceforthetableshouldneverbeanythingpreparedbyataxidermist.
Donotallowthedogtoeatatthetable...nomatterhowgoodhismannersare.
Ifyourdogfallsinlovewithaguest'sleg,havethedecencytoleavethemaloneforafewminutes.

-RedneckDating(OutsidetheFamily)-
Alwaysoffertobaityourdate'shook,especiallyonthefirstdate.
Beaggressive.Letherknowyouareinterested:I'vebeenwantingtogooutwithyousinceIreadthatstuffonthemen'sbathroomwalltwoyearsago.
Ifagirl'snamedoesnotappearregularlyonabathroomwall,watertower,oranoverpass,oddsaregoodthatthedatewillendinfrustration.

-RedneckTheaterEtiquette-
Cryingbabiesshouldbetakentothelobbyandpickedupimmediatelyafterthemoviehasended.
Refrainfromtalkingtocharactersonthescreen.Testshaveproventheycan'thearyou.

-RedneckWeddingEtiquette-
Livestockisusuallyapoorchoiceforaweddinggift.
Itsisnotokayforthegroomtobringadatetoawedding.
Whendancing,neverremoveundergarments,nomatterhowhotitis.
Abridalveilmadeofwindowscreenisnotonlycosteffectivebutalsoaprovenflydeterrent.
Forthegroom,atleastrentatux.Aleisuresuitwithacummerbundandacleanbowlingshirtcancreateanattyappearance.
Thoughuncomfortable,sayyestosocksandshoesforthisspecialoccasion.

-RedneckEtiquetteforAllOccasions-
Nevertakeabeertoajobintervieworaskiftheypresscharges.
Alwaysidentifypeopleinyouryardbeforeshootingatthem.
AlwayssayExcusemeaftergettingsickinsomeoneelse'scar.
It'sconsideredtackytotakeacoolertochurch.
Evenifyou'recertainthatyouareincludedinthewill,it'sconsideredtackytodriveaU-Haultothefuneralhome.
Thesociallyrefinedneverfishcoinsoutofpublictoilets,especiallyifotherpeoplearearound.
Alwaysprovideanalibitothepoliceforfamilymembers.
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