HerandOURaginggracefully.Theseareabitmorerealistic...
1.BIFOCALSBARBIE.Comeswithherownsetofblended-lens
fashionframesinsixwildcolors(half-framestoo!),neckchain
andlarge-printeditionsofVogueandMarthaStewartLiving.
2.HOTFLASHBARBIE.PressBarbie'sbellybuttonandwatchher
faceturnbeetredwhiletinydropsofperspirationappearon
herforehead.Comeswithhand-heldfanandtinytissues.
3.FACIALHAIRBARBIE.AsBarbie'shormonelevelsshift,seeher
whiskersgrow.Availablewithteensytweezersandmagnifyingmirror.
4.FLABBYARMSBARBIE.HideBarbie'sdroopytricepswiththese
new,roomier-sleevedgowns.Goodnewsonthetummyfront,
too-muumuuswithtummy-supportpanelsareincluded.
5.BUNIONBARBIE.Yearsofdiscodancinginstilettoheelshave
definitelytakentheirtollonBarbie'sdaintyarchedfeet.Sootheher
soreswiththepumicestoneandplasters,thensliponsoftterrymules.
6.NO-MORE-WRINKLES-BARBIE.Erasethosepeskycrow's-feetandliplines
withatubeofSkinSparkle-Spackle,fromBarbie'sownlineofexclusive
age-blastingcosmetics.
7.SOCCERMOMBARBIE.Allthatexperienceasacheer-leader
isreallypayingoffasBarbiedustsoffheroldhighschool
megaphonetorootforBabsandKen,Jr.Comeswithminivanin
robin-eggblueorwhite,andcoolerfilledwithdoughnutholes
andfruitpunch.
8.MID-LIFECRISISBARBIE.It'stimetoditchKen.Barbie
needsachange,andAlonzo(herpersonaltrainer)isjustwhat
thedoctorordered,alongwithProzac.They'rehoppinginher
newredMiataandheadingfortheNapaValleytoopenaB&B.
IncludesarealtapeofBreakingUpIsHardtoDo.
9.DIVORCEDBARBIE.Sellsfor$199.99.ComeswithKen'shouse,
Ken'scar,andKen'sboat.
10.RECOVERYBARBIE.Toomanypartieshavefinallycaughtupwith
theultimatepartygirl.NowshedoesTwelveStepsinsteadofdance
steps.Cleanandsober,she'sgoingtomeetingsreligiously.Comes
withalittlecopyofTheBigBookandasix-packofDietCoke.
11.POST-MENOPAUSALBARBIE.ThisBarbiewetsherpantswhenshe
sneezes,forgetswheresheputsthings,andcriesalot.Sheissick
andtiredofKensittingonthecouchwatchingthetube,clicking
throughthechannels.ComeswithDependsandKleenex.Asabonus
thisyear,thebookGettingInTouchwithYourInnerSelfisincluded.
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