Doctor,Quickies

Ahusbandandwifeenteredthedentist'soffice.Thehusbandsaid,Iwantatoothpulled.Idon'twantgasorNovocainbecauseI'minaterriblehurry.Justpullthetoothasquicklyaspossible.You'reabraveman,saidthedentist.Now,showmewhichtoothitis.Thehusbandturnstohiswifeandsays,Openyourmouthandshowthedentistwhichtoothitis,dear.

Doctor,Doctor,You'vegottohelpme-Ijustcan'tstopmyhandsshaking!Doyoudrinkalot?Notreally-Ispillmostofit!

Amanspeaksfranticallyintothephone,Mywifeispregnant,andhercontractionsareonlytwominutesapart!Isthisherfirstchild?thedoctorqueries.No,youidiot!themanshouts.Thisisherhusband!

Doctor:Ihavesomebadnewsandsomeverybadnews.Patient:Well,mightaswellgivemethebadnewsfirst.Doctor:Thelabcalledwithyourtestresults.Theysaidyouhave24hourstolive.Patient:24HOURS!That'sterrible!!WHATcouldbeWORSE?What'stheverybadnews?Doctor:I'vebeentryingtoreachyousinceyesterday.

Doctor,doctor,willIbeabletoplaytheviolinaftertheoperation?Yes,ofcourse...Great!Inevercouldbefore!

Amangoestotheeyedoctor.Thereceptionistaskshimwhyheisthere.Themancomplains,Ikeepseeingspotsinfrontofmyeyes.Thereceptionistasks,Haveyoueverseenadoctor?andthemanreplies,No,justspots.