2.Ifyousprayhairsprayondustbunniesandthenrunoverthemwithrollerblades,theycanignite.
3.A4-year-oldsvoiceislouderthan200adultsinacrowdedrestaurant.
4.Ifyouhookadogleashoveraceilingfan,themotorisnotstrongenoughtorotatea42-poundboywearingpoundpuppyunderwearandaSupermancape.
5.Itisstrongenoughtospreadpaintonall4wallsofa20x20ft.room.
6.Baseballsmakemarksonceilings.
7.Whenusingtheceilingfanasabat,youhavetothrowtheballupseveraltimesbeforeyougetahit.
8.Youshouldnotthrowbaseballsupwhentheceilingfanison.
9.Aceilingfancanhitabaseballalongway.
10.Theglassinwindows(evendoublepane)doesn'tstopabaseballhitbyaceilingfan.
11.Whenyouhearthetoiletflushandthewordsuh-oh,itisalreadytoolate.
12.BrakefluidmixedwithCloroxmakessmoke--lotsofit.
13.A6-year-oldboycanstartafirewithaflintrockeventhougha60-year-oldmansaysitcanonlybedoneinthemovies.
14.Amagnifyingglasscanstartafire,evenonaovercastday.
15.Ifyouuseawaterbedasahomeplatewhilewearingbaseballshoes,itdoesnotleak,itexplodes.
16.Akingsizedwaterbedholdsenoughwatertofilla2,000sqfthousealmost4inchesdeep.
17.Legoswillpassthroughthedigestivetractofa4yearold.
18.Duploswillnot.
19.Play-Dohandmicrowaveovensshouldneverbeusedinthesamesequence.
20.SuperGlueisforever.
21.MacGyvercanteachusmanythingswedon'twanttoknow.
22.SocanTarzan.
23.NomatterhowmuchJell-Oyouputinthepool,youstillcan'twalkonwater.
24.PoolfiltersdontlikeJell-O.
25.VCR'sdonotejectPB&Jsandwiches,eventhoughtheTVcommercialsshowtheydo.
26.Garbagebagsdonotmakegoodparachutes.
27.Marblesinthegastankmakelotsofnoisewhendriving.
28.Youprobablydon'twanttoknowwhatthatodoris.
29.Alwayslookintheovenbeforeyouturniton.
30.Plastictoysdonotlikeovens.
31.Thetypicalfiredepartmenthasatleasta5-minuteresponsetime.
32.Thespincycleonthewashingmachinedoesnotmakeearthwormsdizzy.
33.Itwill,however,makecatsdizzy.
34.Catsthrowuptwicetheirbodyweightwhendizzy.
35.Agoodsenseofhumorwillgetyouthroughmostproblemsinlife(unfortunately,mostlyinretrospect.)
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