Donotaskus.Werefusetoanswer.
2.Learntoworkthetoiletseat.Ifit'sup,Putitdown.
3.Donotcutyourhair.Ever.Longhairisalwaysmoreattractivethan
shorthair.Oneofthebigreasonsguysfeargettingmarriedisthat
marriedwomenalwayscuttheirhair,andbythen,youarestuckwithher.
4.Birthdays,Valentines,andAnniversariesarenotqueststoseeif
wecanfindtheperfectpresentyetagain!
5.Ifyouaskaquestionyoudon'twantananswerto,expect
anansweryoudonotwanttohear.
6.Sometimes,wearenotthinkingaboutyou.Livewithit.
7.Donotaskuswhatwearethinkingaboutunlessyouare
preparedtodiscusssuchtopicsasnavellint,theshotgun
formationandmonstertrucks.
8.Sunday=sports.It'slikethefullmoonor
thechangingofthetides.Letitbe.
9.Shoppingisnotasport,andno,wearenever
goingtothinkofitthatway.
10.Whenwehavetogosomewhere,absolutely
anythingyouwearisfine.Really.
11.Youhaveenoughclothes.
12.Youhavetoomanyshoes.
13.Cryingisblackmail.
14.Yourex-boyfriendisanidiot.
15.Askforwhatyouwant.Letusbeclearonthisone:
Subtlehintsdonotwork.Stronghintsdonotwork.
Obvioushintsdonotwork.Justsayit!
16.No,wedonotknowwhatdayitis.Weneverwill.
Markanniversariesonacalendar.
17.Yes,peeingstandingupismoredifficult.
Weareboundtomisssometimes.
18.Mostguysownthreepairsofshoes.Whatmakesyou
thinkwe'dbeanygoodatchoosingwhichpair,
outofthirty,wouldlookgoodwithyourdress?
19.YesandNoareperfectlyacceptable
answerstoalmosteveryquestion.
20.Cometouswithaproblemonlyifyouwanthelpsolvingit.That
iswhatwedo.Sympathyiswhatyourgirlfriendsarefor.
21.Aheadachethatlastsfor17monthsisaproblem.Seeadoctor.
22.Foreignfilmsarebestlefttoforeigners.
23.Checkyouroil.
24.Donotfakeit.Wewouldratherbeineffectivethandeceived.
25.Itisneitherinyourbestinterestnorourstotakethequiztogether.
26.No,itdoesnotmatterwhichquiz.
27.Anythingwesaid6monthsagoisinadmissibleinanargument.
Allcommentsbecomenullandvoidafter7days.
28.Ifyouwon'tdressliketheVictoria'sSecretgirls,
don'texpectustoactlikesoapoperaguys.
29.Ifsomethingwesaidcanbeinterpretedtwoways,andoneof
thewaysmakesyousadorangry,wemeanttheotherone.
30.Letusogle.Wearegoingtolookanyway;itisgenetic.
31.Don'trubthelampifyoudon'twantthegenietocomeout.
32.YoucaneitheraskustodosomethingORtellus
howyouwantitdone-notboth.
33.Wheneverpossible,pleasesaywhatever
youhavetosayduringcommercials.
34.ChristopherColumbusdidnotneeddirections,andneitherdowe.
35.WomenwearingWonderbrasandlow-cutblouseslose
theirrighttocomplainabouthavingtheirboobsstaredat.
36.MorewomenshouldwearWonderbrasandlow-cutblouses.
Welikestaringatboobs.
37.Therelationshipisnevergoingtobelikeitwas
thefirsttwomonthsweweregoingout.
38.ALLmenseeinonly16colors,likewindowsdefaultsettings.
Peachisafruit,notacolor.
39.Pumpkinisalsoafruit.
40.Ifititches,itwillbescratched.
41.Beerisasexcitingforusashandbagsareforyou.
42.IfitisOURhouse,Idonotunderstandwhy
MYstuffgetsthrowninthecloset/attic/basement.
43.Wearenotmindreadersandweneverwillbe.
Our
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