2.Ifyoudon'tlikeagirl,don'ttellher.It'smorefuntoletherfigureitoutbyherself.
3.Lie.
4.lie.
5.Ifyoulosesomethingthatbelongstosomeoneelse,tellthemyoumailedittothem.
6.Here'sagoodpickupline,Mygirlfriend'spregnant,willyougooutwithme?
7.DrinkVernors.
8.WomenwanttohearallaboutYOUconstantly!
9.Beasambiguousaspossible.Ifyoudon'twanttoanswer,anicegruntwilldo.
10.Alwaysremember:Youareaman.Therefore,nomatterwhat,itisn'tyourfault.
11.Lie.
12.Girlsfinditattractiveifamanhasfriendsthanbaths.
13.Neveraskforhelp.Evenifyoureally,reallyneedhelp-don'task.
14.Womenlikeitwhenyouignorethem.
15.Vanityisthemostimportanttraitforamantohave.Wheneveryoupassareflectivesurface,checkyourhair,clothing,etc.
16.Ifyoudon'tlikeagirl,butcan'tthinkofagoodenoughreasonwhy,justcomeupwithtrite,meaninglessexplanationslike,Idon'tknow.Ijustdon'tlikeherpersonality.
17.If,GODFORBID,youhavetotalktoagirlonthephone,useonlymonosyllabicwordsandnoises.Bodilynoisesarepermissible.
18.TWOWORDS:Hackandspit.
19.Everyonefindsamanmoreattractiveifhecanwritehisnameinurine.
20.Onesurewaytomakeagirllikeyouistogoafterherbestfriend.Shewillthenseewhatshe'smissingandloveyoufornotgivinguponher.
21.Tellheryouwillcall.Then,referbacktorule#1.
22.Saythingslike,Wha...?
23.Don'twearmatchingclothes.Peoplewillthinkyourgirlfriendpickeditout,anditwillcrampyourstyleonpickingupchicks.
24.Lie.
25.Denyeverything.Everything.
26.Goodbreakupline,It'snotyou,it'sme.
27.Ifyoulikeagirl,tellallyourfemalefriendsabouther.Becauseifanyofyourfemalefriendslikeyou,they'llreallywanttoknow.
28.Don'thaveaclue.
29.Ifyougetaclue,pretendyoudidn'tanddisregardit.
30.Nomeansyes.
31.Yesmeansno.
32.Lie.
33.Makeupsomethingtolieabouttostayinpractice.Improvise.
34.DidImentionthatyoushouldbeabletolie.
35.Feelings?Whatfeelings?
36.Neverlisten.
37.Lifeisonebigcompetition.Ifsomeoneisbetterthanyouatanything,eitherpretendit'snottrueorkicksomeass.
38.Gaysareanunacceptablepartofoursociety.Takeituponyourselftopersonallyirradiateallofthemfromtheplanet.
39.DONOTmakedecisionsaboutrelationships.Ifyouarebackedintoacornerandmustmakeadecision,stall.Ifyoustillmustcomeupwithananswer,leaveyourselfaloopholeforescape.
40.Everysentencethatanyonesayscanbecontortedtohavesexualmeaning.Doso.
41.Thisisagoodplacetomentionyoushouldbeabletolie.
42.Lie.
43.Loveisnotinyourvocabulary.don'teventhinkaboutsayingit.
44.Ageneralrule:Ifwhateveryou'redoingdoesnotsatisfyyoucompletelyin5minutes,it'sreallynotworthit.
45.Ditchyourgirlfriend.Begandpleaduntilyougetherback.Ditchheragain.Repeatcycle.
46.Lie.
47.ALWAYSapologize.NEVERmeanit.
48.Ifyouhurtsomeone,pretendyoucare.Don't.
49.Trytohaveagoodmemory,butit'sOKifyouforgettrivialthings.Youknow,likeyourgirlfriend'sb-dayandeyecolor.
50.Ignorancesolvesproblems.Ifyoucan'tseethem,theycan'tseeyou.
51.Itisneveryourdutytotakeresponsibilityforyouractions.
52.BlameeverythingonPMS.
53.Complainaboutnotgettinganymail.Whenpe
tag标签分类：长笑话